In a life with a limited timeline, why waste a single moment caring about the New York Jets? The Jets do not care about you. Take this week’s big news. The Jets and their 32nd-ranked offense released Pro Bowl running back Le’Veon Bell. Bell came to
In a generous attempt at returning normalcy to a terrible year, the New York Jets embarrassed themselves in an opening day loss. Once more, the Fire Adam Gase chants trickle in. New York never stressed the Buffalo Bills, never resembled anything close to a competent football team, and lost their
I’ve been a Jets fan for as long as I can remember, and like any self-respecting Jets fan, I have no respect for the franchise. How can I bet against the Jets? I’ve written up an ode to Sam Darnold contracting mono and a detailed explanation
Consider the trolley problem, a famous philosophical dilemma covered perfectly by The Good Place and probably also in books. You, the conductor of a broken trolley, will hit and kill five people; you’re able to avert this disaster, but changing course ensures that you’ll instead hit one person.
I can feel this photo in the depths of my bitter Jets soul, pointing and laughing at the last bit of hope and wondering just what the hell it will take to finally die. Their franchise quarterback, Sam Darnold, will miss multiple weeks thanks to mono; their journeyman backup, Trevor
Andrew Luck’s surprise retirement shocked the sports world and revved up a week-long news cycle. I’d like to imagine the radio jocks like Doug Gottlieb setting an alarm in the morning, editing and rewriting his nuclear tweet over some coffee, and then smugly hitting publish and tossing his
Welcome back, bearded King!
In researching the Fitzmagic score, I knew I was on to something when I saw some results I didn’t expect. Intuitively, you think of the imperfect young quarterbacks in bad situations like Geno Smith, the journeymen flashing glory like Nick Foles, or the colossal busts gamely tossing one good
Nothing damages a fan base quite like misplaced hope. Executives buy unqualified seasons on the back of a developing quarterback, coaches hide inadequacies under the spacious umbrella of “rebuilding”; the game, rigged as ever, will always have room for aspirational patience, giving just enough rope to hang yourself after the
Tom Brady is the most boring quarterback in the league. There’s no joy in watching his handsome, tomato-free grin march up and down the field each season, winning the AFC East in week four and flashing a handful of Super Bowl rings. He’s boring in his destructive consistency,
